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Thursday, December 21, 2006

cof day 21


my most trying day so far. what started off as a wonderful day, especially after giving my scriptscrapbook a nice new cover design, i was all pepped up and gungho about my shoot.
we started off well, but the evening soon turned dark and trying, my camera assistant who also white balances using my script, lost it. yes you read right, he lost my precious script.
ironically i was day dreaming earlier in the day about how i will always treasure my writings no matter what the fate of my film...and for this to happen, it cannot be a coincidence. i dont know man. the rest of the evening was spent by the whole crew retracing our steps to try and find my damned script, we asked passerbies,beggars (whom i had earlier yelled at), small shopkeepers etc etc. i had to give up....and i didnt know whom to be mad at....but i was feeling more terrible than i can remember in recent memory. it felt and feels like an arm of mine has been pulled off. i feel like i have lost my puppy...i feel i lost a child....its so terrible and no one can share or understand my anguish....i didnt know and dont know what to do...so i announced pack up and drove, or atleast tried to in my cities godfforsaken traffic....aimless and wallowing in self pity...i tried to dissect my very essence of existence,capability,manner and personality...i decided i was mad at myself. it was my script and i shouldnt have let that happen.
i was sitting in a cafe drinking chai when i got a call from my actor asking me to forget about it....yeah...easier said than done i thought, and i got on my way home...when...
i saw a man on the road stagger and fall to the ground, he was hit and was being helped by someone....as usual i figured i can let this go, in hyderabad there are enough people around to help...and i was in a car..and i had to find a place to park....and it was too much trouble...
but i did park...now this was something i did after a lot of forethought....
i couldnt help myself as i got off the car and see what i could do to help...
something in me was saying..."get off your ass,you selfpitying asshole".

and this selfpity asshole did what he could, i was among 3 or 4 other people who called 108, i however was the only one who asked what one must do as they lay watching a man bleeding from the head. they asked me to keep the pressure on...
here is the prick in me which came to the forefront...there was someone already holding his head,covered with a cloth....since i didnt want blood on my hands, i told him in all urgency to keep the pressure on...i then realised that this man was also choking the bleeding guy by having the cloth wrapped all around his nose.as he lifted it, i felt things were getting better for everyone.
however there was more action going on...the bike which rammed into this guy was also parked by the side and a couple of guys were trying to get away....the crowd stopped them and began beating the crap out of them...
i intervened and told them to hold on...there wasnt any point in hitting these guys, they were also dazed,hurt and shocked. i told the crowd not to lay a hand...and had them sit by the side of the road. i found myself consoling them to....somehow its always easy for me to relate to the culprit. maybe i was an aussie in my last birth...

anyways, the amubulance never showed up but the cops did, i briefed them, but them didnt seem to be listening...so things began to get in control. i kept speaking to the bleeding guy, asking his name, asking people to move aside so he could get some air.....well i did what i could including carrying him to the side of the road. i was too cowardly to get my hands in blood, but i did ask the 'presee' to keep it pressed....the cops finally gave up waiting for the ambulance and took the bleeding guy in an auto...
i rewarded myself to a fag and drove home, slowly...

bottomline: my precious script was dear to me. i sat around moping about it.i played my part to make a couple of guys feel better.i still miss my script.but am consoling myself by thinking,i played a part for someone else for a change.maybe the time delayed and my script being lost was for a better cause, i can always get another print.....

but i do miss my dear script. :( please come back to me magically tomorrow.

just heard my sister having an argument with my dad, need to get into my room asap...waiting for the damn pics to upload

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