Monday, November 27, 2006
eve of the confession
22 days ago i first wrote saying i am doing this project. since then a lot of stuff has gone under the bridge. from being undecided about how or what to do with the subject matter, to asking myself a million times whether all of this is actually worth to, to questioning my ability about tackling such a subject, to fretting about the effort,time etc that it will take,to having to iron out all the financial aspects (am still doing that) etc etc.
whats funny is i am making this film for a zero/manageable budget of 500rs a day max. but the timing of all these creditors asking their payments really rattled me.
that hasnt been solved yet, and i must admit 8 hours before i get ready with the setup,thats my main worry.
however for my part, for tomorrows shoot i havent prepared too much mentally. i have decided to give in to chaos and inner feeling. i am not going to let an invisible pressure get to me. my focus will be only on quality not quantity on a per day basis.
right i dont feel like writing too much. i have spent a good amount of time thinking and dreaming about the results rather than the tougher aspect of actually shooting. i am going to start with that now.
hopefully you must be reading a more cheerful me tomorrow.
adios amigo, i am off to war.