cof day 2

it has been the most dissatisfying and testing day so far. i was already exhausted even before we started. i think the lack of sleep caught up with me. i cant take my fat body for granted anymore. fuck it man.
we started on time. and headed off to satyam theatre where we canned shots. i was pleased with the result, but wanted more so we headed towards imax. the result was...i think average. something inside me is dis-satisfied.
with no more pucca plans, we headed to medhcal to can scenes for the musical montage. again was not particularly happy.
overall a hard reality checking day. have promised myself to be better focussed tomorrow.
will get back to the script, i have lofty ambitions of shooting 2 scenes perfectly and maybe, just maybe re-shoot one of todays scenes.
lets see. i think i want more from my actor, i dont know if he is delivering, i can only judge when i get to see the results on the edit later this week.

oh the bright spot , were some comments made by sudhir mishra on the state of indian cinema, so much of what he said is in my movie (i think). that sort of helped me.
ciao.

c.o.f day 1

terrible start to the day. was at the studio on the dot at 7,but had to wait a good 3 hours before i could get started. the camera assistant and the tapes we needed never turned up. i almost decided to cancle shooting for the day.
but my patience paid off in the end.

we finally assembled at my place at 1030 and began shooting. and boy was it tough going, we didnt stop until 2pm. we made like 20 takes for the complex intro shot of the hero. and i must admit, i had moments of self doubt right through, sometimes i would cringe at my dialogue and at other times i didnt like the way i was shooting it. kamal had a lot of work to do. we all sweated in out. by 415pm i decided we had enough and ventured out in the car to can one more scene. which went better than i thought it would.
so to sum it up. was an unpleasant start to a rough day, i am somewhat satisfied, but i am also confident i will feel better as the days roll by. i need to keep the focus.
kamal is staying over since we have an early start tomorrow. and it should be tougher than today. too tired to write more. need to work on the script.
bye for now.

eve of the confession

22 days ago i first wrote saying i am doing this project. since then a lot of stuff has gone under the bridge. from being undecided about how or what to do with the subject matter, to asking myself a million times whether all of this is actually worth to, to questioning my ability about tackling such a subject, to fretting about the effort,time etc that it will take,to having to iron out all the financial aspects (am still doing that) etc etc.
whats funny is i am making this film for a zero/manageable budget of 500rs a day max. but the timing of all these creditors asking their payments really rattled me.
that hasnt been solved yet, and i must admit 8 hours before i get ready with the setup,thats my main worry.
however for my part, for tomorrows shoot i havent prepared too much mentally. i have decided to give in to chaos and inner feeling. i am not going to let an invisible pressure get to me. my focus will be only on quality not quantity on a per day basis.

right i dont feel like writing too much. i have spent a good amount of time thinking and dreaming about the results rather than the tougher aspect of actually shooting. i am going to start with that now.
hopefully you must be reading a more cheerful me tomorrow.

adios amigo, i am off to war.

confessions of a filmmaker

alright then. its been a while since i updated this blog. i have been busy writing my screenplay,which is pretty much done with right now.
i am ecstatic and nervous, because the time has come now to make the movie. i plan on starting next week. i cant believe i am finally doing it.

yes people, i am making a movie. to start with, i have to say this, i have been damn lucky to get a crew who understand and support me pretty quickly. and better still, someone has agreed to lend me their camera and edit suite free of cost until i make some money (if i do) from this film.
WHICH IS JUST SIMPLY FANTASTIC FOR ME.

lots of things have been happening simultaneously, i dont think i will do justice to my feelings by trying to write any of them. importantly, i am making the film. its going to be a low key affair,experimentative...lets see how it goes. phew
what else, oh yeah, i am extremely happy with the way the script has turned out, its defineltely original and thought provoking. its also provacative and debatable. all this on the script level.narrative feedbacks have been very encouraging. and i am thrilled with my choice of music.

ofcurse because of the sensitive nature of the subject matter, i wont elaborate further right now. but i must say this....

i know how a kamikaze pilot feels. he's either going to come out looking stupid or a hero.
for my sake i hope its the latter.

my good wishes are with me. cheerio for now.
am preparing for a rehearsal this sunday at home.

ciao.

p.s i am more confident than the image attached above :)

filmi plots

so everyone is grabbing plots of land supposedly being handed out by the producers council or is it someother body. well who cares.
so yes everyone is rushing to stand in line,grab application forms for plots of land which are being doled out to everyone who has a 'card'. so everyone from top notch directors/producers/actors/makeupmen/setassistants is rushing to get their piece of their cake.
apparently application forms are so mush in demand, they are also being sold in black and there are 'brokers' who have appeared from nowehere doing deals. hmm...
ok, why am i not rushing.
why should i? this is going to have an ending like a bad telugu movie (or every telugu movie) there will be bloodshed,tears and chest beating....

AND THE HERO, YES THE HERO WILL WALK AWAY WITH THE HEROINE(PLOT). WHILE EVERYONE WHO IS AN EXTRA WILL DO WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO...
KEEP LOOKING.

a confession

there have been worries about whether i can make the film. i guess such anxiety is common.but if i look a little closer, the anxiety stems from the fact that i have to ensure a quality product.
i am extremely excited about the opening sequence and also about the general modus operandi.

an announcement, the film is called 'confessions of a filmmaker'. i am extremely happy with this. whether i find a telugu equivalent is immaterial.
my find is a buzz with a lot of stuff, its best that i put off writing for a bit.

cheerio.
p.s i just decided to go to kerala. i want to finish writing there.i must go back to my personal alma mater.that trip has me buzzing.

gut feeling and mentors

my gut feeling is my mentor feels this project is foolhardy. granted it is. it is the most insane thing. remember i questioned myself, i question myself again.
yes this film must be made. it will be made. and it will be seen and lambasted by the telugu film press and the industry and i will be banished for life.
but then i would have won.
i want to proove my deepest fears wrong. i want to proove to myself that this is worth the effort.
a message for my lead actor, the more i think of the subject, the more its dawning on me that the story will run on your shoulders and performance. i think i might have made a mistake of assuming that this film will have two clear halves. what is emerging from my thought process is that,this will have two colours. i will explain later.let me keep thinking

cheerio. my best wishes are with me.

the lead actor

like i mentioned in my previous post, i was going to meet my main lead actor today. before i continue i must mention,this has been an eventful day. a lot of things have come around very well.
most importantly my own internal debate which i started myself today morning, and then later with my 1st AD and now with my main lead actor.
wait a minute, let me be a little more clear before i proceed.
i have had an internal debate for a while now about the need to make PROJECT TC. yes i have no doubt now in my mind that it must be made. while i am not completely sure about how my mentor feels about the, the couple of people who are in on the project strongly support my desire to make this film.
am i just being vengful for every bad experience i have had. maybe or maybe not, but cannot be denied is that this film must be made. and that is enough to motivate me towards the greater good of making this film.
now coming back to my actor. at this point it wont be smart for me to detail too much, but he is someone i have come to know and like over a period of time and i have always thought of him for this role. luckily for me, he matches my vibe. he is among all of us on the team, the guy who will stand to loose the most if the movie is a sensation (which i know it will be).
readers probably are wondering, what the hell is this bugger even talking about, isnt he going around circles and not taking us anywhere.

yes i am. for my own safety and the projects.
until later.

my best wishes are with me. cheerio.;