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Saturday, April 28, 2007

what if everything goes wrong? :(


man, i am so dazed. there is so much that needs to work out just perfectly for me over the next few days, i am getting stressed just imagining the worst.
first there was the recording fiasco...i never wrote about the other reason why i felt shitty at the studio...i have been meeting up with a few crew members from another unit...who have spared me no grief about my film and my reasons for doing it...
in a few words, they shower false praise at me, while actually snickering that i am digging my own grave....man! that was another downer....but i am over it..i think...
(cant be too elaborate about the who's and the when's, they might be reading this website for all i know)...

ok so coming back to my state of mind...
i am getting paranoid....
what if everything goes wrong on the preview day...
what if the projector stops working...what if the audio is shitty...
what if no one from the press turns up....what if no one turns up...what if people walk out even before giving the film a chance...
oh man the list goes on....and i cant help feeling eveything that can go wrong will....and my one big moment, will only be one embarrassing memory....what if everything goes wrong?..
i first thought the 9th was the best, but looks like the 12th is better cus its the weekend...what if the theatre wont re-schedule my dates...what if no one listens to me....

what if no one takes me seriously....

i'm tired...its hot...i'm going to sleep.

why the fuck should anything work out for an idiot who decided he was smarter than the system....why should anything work out!

whatever.......
i wish i made a comedy or love story....not something i need to pull my hair to convince people about....
no, i am proud of 'confessions'...but it is overwhelming me...

but what if everything goes wrong for me on the big day? what if NOTHING HAPPENS....man, i will drown....drown drown drown....

i need to a divine force to stay with me over the next few days....to just guide me...man i wish i was religious....

sigh...

p.s i know ill feel better in the morning...i am writing to only feel better...so no one worry about me...

auf wiedersehen....good night...bye...sigh

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anisho,
What if the film is a hit?
What if the press not only comes but goes ga ga over it?
What if it 'COF' gets its due?What if starts a 'revolution' in the film industry?
What if....COF gives you the much needed visibility in the industry?
What if 'COF' becomes a case study for up and coming students of film makin...of course on how to make a good fillum:)))

Yep...success and failure..are two faces of the same coin.

But in the end,what really matters...is whether or not...you believe in the product.Our gang hasnt even seen the movie yet...but we know that its gonna be something special...a statement that we all agree upon.
Forget failure...forget success...just march ahead...and COF will take its own course.

Know 'success' of COF would open many doors...fill many pockets...but,Who knows?

Give it your best shot now....and sit back to see if it shapes up or ships out.Either ways,we are mighty proud of ya.....
ciao
~Swap
ps:- and to those snickering imbeciles...if you are reading this...F#$# Ya'll!

Anonymous said...

MAN YOU REALLY MADE MY DAY SWAPS!
FELT GREAT READING YOUR MSG.
THANKS BIDDU.

THIS IS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR HUH?

ANISH

chris said...

dude ..not all this from you...we workin wid you in the first place after seein how rebelliously determined u are. system? ahh wasnt the idea was to fuck what dey think in the first place.let it prevail. lets work the mix out and we there right by u side man. will promote it wherever i go. dont u worry n continue doing what u doing. u dont have to confess anymore.

chris said...

too much use of first place lol..but well hope u get the idea..am kinda high..no sleep again..diff reasons bleh .

Anonymous said...

Anish miya,

It happens...I am sure the biggest of the directors go through this shitty nightmares....sometimes we underestimate our product or ourselves......

Like swaps rightly pointed out...now just march ahead and see what happens...and tell you what anything that's done with sinceriaty (not sure I spelled that right ::)), hard work will pay off....No questions about it...

Like in the "Geeta" - Do your job and do not worry about the result....

So RELAX...and get it out of your system...

Remember there is always one painting in your portfolio which is your favorite and is never everybody's....it is special because you understand or relate to the painiting better than anyone else.

Bring in the new wave!!

cheers
-Amit

Suman Patibanda said...

Anish,

Juz looking at the pic posted here, we understand the situation u r undergoing with. hey ani, u r the “HISTORY MAKER” not a history reader. All of us were impressed by ur determination. It’s the time for the 75 yrs old Telugu Film Industry to retrospect the chaos..

“Believe in yourself” and the gr8 work done by the Team COF. We are with u…

SuMaN

Anonymous said...

great thing happen to people who challenge the system not work with the system.... waiting for ur movie